This is beyond my wildest dreams! Brilliant! Amazing! It Was Better than Cats!!! *dances around like a madwoman*
I love the scene at the bridge and how you set up the timeloop and the tiny changes to the conversation in the car and the meta about Journey and Zepplin and OMG it's THE BEST!
Sam leaned across the seat on his elbows to jeer up at Dean through the open driver's side window. "Don't worry. I'll touch it up with a Sharpie or something." Man, Sam can push Dean's buttons something fierce.
Your banter is like catnip... I just want to roll around in it all day! "That's one of the other things that kills me," Dean said. "Smart, that mouth." "You'd cry your eyes out," Dean said, pitching his voice just as low. "Then find some way to blame yourself. Hopefully I'll go deaf, too, so I don't have to listen to the bitching." "If the orthopedic shoe fits, grandpa." "Nice to know there are orifices you won't go for,"
If Dean wanted him to know, he'd tell him. Sometimes, when he was tired enough, he accepted that. This line jumped out at me even before I'd read the rest of the story. The two of them are pratically inside each other's skins, and yet they're also separated miles apart by all these secrets and unspoken needs. And they take turns picking at that barrier, but it never all comes down.
He opened his mouth to scream for Sam and couldn't. Wow. So I'm trying to think about whether I've ever heard Dean call out to Sam for help. Not in Phantom Traveler, not in Faith, not in Shadows. And we know that even in the direst circumstances, he would never draw Sam into the danger zone. But there's also that pride thing going on here (He was careful not to say 'if you're wrong' because Dean wouldn't hear anything else if he did), and Sam knows both of those things better than anyone.
"Kids'll flock for miles. Didn't you ever see Stand By Me?" *GLEE*
There's that point in every single one of your stories where your Dean (not canon Dean) just owns me. And this is it: "Bullshit," Dean said, and Sam could see the gleam of anticipation in his eyes. A dogs chasing cars anticipation. "It's my bridge, now."
I just want to quote the whole scene where they argue about who's going out onto the bridge to set the charges. There are about 18 different things going on there between them, and you convey all of them simply through dialog (stated and unstated). How in the hell do you do that? *is blown away*
"Like how you're on the way to destruction, make your time?" Dean said. "Take off every zig for great justice?" You are EVOL. *g*
It just takes four little words to break my heart into tiny pieces: "For one day, you have to laugh at everything I do and say - that's meant to be funny, anyway - out loud, like you used to."
These little moments you sprinkle around stand out less than some of your other verbal pyrotechnics, but they touch me deeply. Then Sam watched while Dean poked around a little more to flip rocks and branches with his boots before he came to stand with Sam again. Neither said a word. Something seemed to shift between them after a minute or so, and they went back to the car.
I went in there like the goddamn A-Team. Cha-ching!
And you manage to slip in a little nod to the slashers! "What, you don't think I could make a killing with this mouth?"
I wasn't really creeped out by the story until this: "Are we dead?" Dean said. The starkness and practicality of that line. The way he expects Sam to answer. And dread goes from 0 to 60 starting right there. *shudder*
"Don't let me trap us here," Dean said finally. Oh, Dean. The crushing weight. And people say Sam has issues with guilt.
I can't even quote the final version of Dean's story and Sam's hearing of it, because it BROKE me. Utterly.
And then: It was a killer song, when done with a decent vocal. *flail to infinity*
Barb, I am so floored by this story! I love it more than I can say.
>>So I'm trying to think about whether I've ever heard Dean call out to Sam for help. >>
Or anybody. I think the first time I ever heard him do something like that was Devil's Trap. The closest he's ever come before was telling Sam "I can't do this alone" in the pilot.
>>I wasn't really creeped out by the story until this: "Are we dead?" Dean said. The starkness and practicality of that line. The way he expects Sam to answer. And dread goes from 0 to 60 starting right there. *shudder*>>
See? He just assumes Sam would know. I love these guys. ::shakes fist at Kripke::
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2006-05-11 02:31 pm (UTC)This is beyond my wildest dreams! Brilliant! Amazing! It Was Better than Cats!!! *dances around like a madwoman*
I love the scene at the bridge and how you set up the timeloop and the tiny changes to the conversation in the car and the meta about Journey and Zepplin and OMG it's THE BEST!
Sam leaned across the seat on his elbows to jeer up at Dean through the open driver's side window. "Don't worry. I'll touch it up with a Sharpie or something."
Man, Sam can push Dean's buttons something fierce.
Your banter is like catnip... I just want to roll around in it all day!
"That's one of the other things that kills me," Dean said. "Smart, that mouth."
"You'd cry your eyes out," Dean said, pitching his voice just as low. "Then find some way to blame yourself. Hopefully I'll go deaf, too, so I don't have to listen to the bitching."
"If the orthopedic shoe fits, grandpa."
"Nice to know there are orifices you won't go for,"
If Dean wanted him to know, he'd tell him. Sometimes, when he was tired enough, he accepted that.
This line jumped out at me even before I'd read the rest of the story. The two of them are pratically inside each other's skins, and yet they're also separated miles apart by all these secrets and unspoken needs. And they take turns picking at that barrier, but it never all comes down.
He opened his mouth to scream for Sam and couldn't.
Wow. So I'm trying to think about whether I've ever heard Dean call out to Sam for help. Not in Phantom Traveler, not in Faith, not in Shadows. And we know that even in the direst circumstances, he would never draw Sam into the danger zone. But there's also that pride thing going on here (He was careful not to say 'if you're wrong' because Dean wouldn't hear anything else if he did), and Sam knows both of those things better than anyone.
"Kids'll flock for miles. Didn't you ever see Stand By Me?" *GLEE*
There's that point in every single one of your stories where your Dean (not canon Dean) just owns me. And this is it:
"Bullshit," Dean said, and Sam could see the gleam of anticipation in his eyes. A dogs chasing cars anticipation. "It's my bridge, now."
I just want to quote the whole scene where they argue about who's going out onto the bridge to set the charges. There are about 18 different things going on there between them, and you convey all of them simply through dialog (stated and unstated). How in the hell do you do that? *is blown away*
"Like how you're on the way to destruction, make your time?" Dean said. "Take off every zig for great justice?"
You are EVOL. *g*
It just takes four little words to break my heart into tiny pieces:
"For one day, you have to laugh at everything I do and say - that's meant to be funny, anyway - out loud, like you used to."
These little moments you sprinkle around stand out less than some of your other verbal pyrotechnics, but they touch me deeply.
Then Sam watched while Dean poked around a little more to flip rocks and branches with his boots before he came to stand with Sam again. Neither said a word. Something seemed to shift between them after a minute or so, and they went back to the car.
I went in there like the goddamn A-Team.
Cha-ching!
And you manage to slip in a little nod to the slashers!
"What, you don't think I could make a killing with this mouth?"
I wasn't really creeped out by the story until this:
"Are we dead?" Dean said.
The starkness and practicality of that line. The way he expects Sam to answer. And dread goes from 0 to 60 starting right there. *shudder*
"Don't let me trap us here," Dean said finally.
Oh, Dean. The crushing weight. And people say Sam has issues with guilt.
I can't even quote the final version of Dean's story and Sam's hearing of it, because it BROKE me. Utterly.
And then:
It was a killer song, when done with a decent vocal.
*flail to infinity*
Barb, I am so floored by this story! I love it more than I can say.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-11 03:56 pm (UTC)This is ALL YOUR FAULT!
I'm so glad you liked it, doll. :)
>>So I'm trying to think about whether I've ever heard Dean call out to Sam for help. >>
Or anybody. I think the first time I ever heard him do something like that was Devil's Trap. The closest he's ever come before was telling Sam "I can't do this alone" in the pilot.
>>I wasn't really creeped out by the story until this:
"Are we dead?" Dean said.
The starkness and practicality of that line. The way he expects Sam to answer. And dread goes from 0 to 60 starting right there. *shudder*>>
See? He just assumes Sam would know. I love these guys. ::shakes fist at Kripke::