Salvation AU amusement
Nov. 28th, 2006 10:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
eighth_horizonHow to tell the Winchester girls apart: a primer.
Imagine each girl is separately presented with a cake. Each cake is exactly the same, and is topped with those damn trick candles that relight themselves when you try to blow them out.
Allie - tries it once, then plucks the candles off one by one and extinguishes them by putting them flame-first in her mouth, with a grin.
Mary - tries to blow them out once, screams when they relight, then launches into an explanation about how it works because there's magnesium in the wick and it has a very low ignition point and the ember left behind by the vaporizing paraffin...yadda yadda. The other kids eat the cake.
Leigh - enjoys the candlelight for a long moment, takes another long moment to plan her wish, then keeps trying to blow them out no matter how many times they relight. She's not dumb, she just believes that no matter the odds, if she keeps trying, sooner or later her perserverance will be rewarded.
Charlie - shakes her head in annoyance and walks away, because, stupid fucking cake anyway, who needs it.
Plus: a silly drabble for no other reason than to be silly.
"So what'd you guys do?" Sam said.
"Nothing," Allie said just as Mary started laughing. "You don't actually want to know, you're just asking because you're dad and you should."
Mary began singing 'Dixie' under her breath but couldn't get more than a few words out at a time without breaking up into giggles.
Sam found himself looking between them, because rather than trying to lie to him they were purposely goading him into worrying about whatever had gone on. From somewhere behind them in another room came the sound of Leigh belching in champion form.
Allie waved her hand and walked away.
"Mentos," Mary said the moment Allie was out of sight. "And soda. Are the coolest things ever. Uncle Dean ate a whole pack and then drank a two-liter, dad, and some of it came out his nose but he could still burp entire songs. When I can finally date? That's how I'll know the guy is the one."
Sam felt one eye begin to twitch but realized that things could be worse.
-|-
Sam let the phone ring until Dean's voicemail picked up, then hung up and dialed again. He repeated that until there was a click and Dean's indignant voice said "Jesus Christ, Sam, what is your problem?"
"How are your sinuses?" Sam said.
There was a beat of silence. Then Dean said, "Never again."
"Yeah? Too bad, because now you're the hit of the neighborhood and every kid within seven blocks of here wants to see you do that again. I'm gonna hire you out for kid's parties. It's a shame 'Jackass' isn't still on the air."
"Well, the girls thought it was funny." He didn't sound repentant.
"What song, exactly, is Leigh trying to belch?" Sam said.
"That's your problem," Dean said.
"If that was diet Coke, good luck getting the aspartame out of that habitrail of a head of yours," Sam said. "Stuff's gonna leave a coating in there that nothing will dissolve."
"You're just jealous," Dean said
As he said it, Sam heard another belch from the kitchen and Sarah saying "Your pitch is off...hey Sam, it's Dixie!"
Okay, so he laughed.
Imagine each girl is separately presented with a cake. Each cake is exactly the same, and is topped with those damn trick candles that relight themselves when you try to blow them out.
Allie - tries it once, then plucks the candles off one by one and extinguishes them by putting them flame-first in her mouth, with a grin.
Mary - tries to blow them out once, screams when they relight, then launches into an explanation about how it works because there's magnesium in the wick and it has a very low ignition point and the ember left behind by the vaporizing paraffin...yadda yadda. The other kids eat the cake.
Leigh - enjoys the candlelight for a long moment, takes another long moment to plan her wish, then keeps trying to blow them out no matter how many times they relight. She's not dumb, she just believes that no matter the odds, if she keeps trying, sooner or later her perserverance will be rewarded.
Charlie - shakes her head in annoyance and walks away, because, stupid fucking cake anyway, who needs it.
Plus: a silly drabble for no other reason than to be silly.
"So what'd you guys do?" Sam said.
"Nothing," Allie said just as Mary started laughing. "You don't actually want to know, you're just asking because you're dad and you should."
Mary began singing 'Dixie' under her breath but couldn't get more than a few words out at a time without breaking up into giggles.
Sam found himself looking between them, because rather than trying to lie to him they were purposely goading him into worrying about whatever had gone on. From somewhere behind them in another room came the sound of Leigh belching in champion form.
Allie waved her hand and walked away.
"Mentos," Mary said the moment Allie was out of sight. "And soda. Are the coolest things ever. Uncle Dean ate a whole pack and then drank a two-liter, dad, and some of it came out his nose but he could still burp entire songs. When I can finally date? That's how I'll know the guy is the one."
Sam felt one eye begin to twitch but realized that things could be worse.
-|-
Sam let the phone ring until Dean's voicemail picked up, then hung up and dialed again. He repeated that until there was a click and Dean's indignant voice said "Jesus Christ, Sam, what is your problem?"
"How are your sinuses?" Sam said.
There was a beat of silence. Then Dean said, "Never again."
"Yeah? Too bad, because now you're the hit of the neighborhood and every kid within seven blocks of here wants to see you do that again. I'm gonna hire you out for kid's parties. It's a shame 'Jackass' isn't still on the air."
"Well, the girls thought it was funny." He didn't sound repentant.
"What song, exactly, is Leigh trying to belch?" Sam said.
"That's your problem," Dean said.
"If that was diet Coke, good luck getting the aspartame out of that habitrail of a head of yours," Sam said. "Stuff's gonna leave a coating in there that nothing will dissolve."
"You're just jealous," Dean said
As he said it, Sam heard another belch from the kitchen and Sarah saying "Your pitch is off...hey Sam, it's Dixie!"
Okay, so he laughed.
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no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 06:47 am (UTC)Favorite lines (well, geez, I love the whole entire thing but favorite lines:
Charlie - shakes her head in annoyance and walks away, because, stupid fucking cake anyway, who needs it.
When I can finally date? That's how I'll know the guy is the one."
As he said it, Sam heard another belch from the kitchen and Sarah saying "Your pitch is off...hey Sam, it's Dixie!"
Okay, so he laughed.
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Date: 2006-11-29 07:04 am (UTC)Great drabbles! I love Mary's new yard stick for measuring if a guy's The One. :D
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Date: 2006-11-29 07:24 am (UTC)I have desperately wanted to try that, but haven't had the nerve *g*no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 08:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 11:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 12:57 pm (UTC)Thank you so much for this AU, it balances the incredible angst of the Winchesters life SO well, it gives me hope. I feel for Sam, though, I mean, having three girls and Dean to look after? So much work *G* I love your Sam :)
thanks!
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Date: 2006-11-29 02:23 pm (UTC)Charlie is so Dean's kid!
Now, seriously, that was adorable! I really needed some fun happy family thing to cheer me up today and your timing was perfect!
Thank you!
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Date: 2006-11-29 03:20 pm (UTC)And gross. I mean - diet Coke in the nose?
Ewwwwwwwwwww.
:)
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Date: 2006-11-29 03:22 pm (UTC)*g* She's so Sam's daughter.
Charlie - shakes her head in annoyance and walks away, because, stupid fucking cake anyway, who needs it.
LOL! She's so Dean's kid.
On to the story ...
"Mentos," Mary said the moment Allie was out of sight. "And soda. Are the coolest things ever. Uncle Dean ate a whole pack and then drank a two-liter, dad, and some of it came out his nose but he could still burp entire songs. When I can finally date? That's how I'll know the guy is the one."
LOL! Disgusting! *snickers* On another note, I love Mary’s little crush on Dean.
"What song, exactly, is Leigh trying to belch?" Sam said.
"That's your problem," Dean said.
*snickers*
As he said it, Sam heard another belch from the kitchen and Sarah saying "Your pitch is off...hey Sam, it's Dixie!"
Okay, so he laughed.
*g* Cute ending. Cute story. Thanks for a fun read. :)
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Date: 2006-11-29 03:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 05:58 pm (UTC)Did the matchmaker deliver the goats and grog yet?
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Date: 2006-11-29 06:54 pm (UTC)*gives you pumpkin cupcakes* because you make me happy and they make me happy and i'm just so damn happy
*burps obnoxiouosly and bounces off*
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Date: 2006-11-29 07:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-11-29 11:36 pm (UTC)http://wordsmiths.net/Maygra/fa_index.html
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Date: 2006-11-30 01:47 am (UTC)-your new, biggest fan
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Date: 2006-11-29 08:52 pm (UTC)Funny and SWEET. God, I will never tire of this 'verse.
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Date: 2006-11-30 02:55 am (UTC)Allie - tries it once, then plucks the candles off one by one and extinguishes them by putting them flame-first in her mouth, with a grin.
Are you sure that Allie isn't Dean's daughter? Sorry Sam, but she lives up to her namesake just to well sometimes.
OMH. Mentos & diet coke? My nose is burning just thinking of this, not nice. The 8th grade science teacher does this demo to illustate what a chemical reaction is. Lex can't wait until the third quarter.
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Date: 2006-12-01 09:30 pm (UTC)and very amusing drabble :D lmao Mary :D
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Date: 2008-02-25 10:49 pm (UTC)Salvation 'Verse has eaten my brain. Why? Because of things like this:
When I can finally date? That's how I'll know the guy is the one.
Every time I read about Sam/Dean/Sarah and their interactions with the girls, I get this idiot grin on my face that just won't quit.
*gigglesnort*
Date: 2008-04-18 10:52 am (UTC)That's right I just almost first snorted juice all over my laptop and then almost chocked trying to keep it in while laughing.
Yep I'm in frigging love with Sarah/Sam and have been ever since Provenance and I just found this Verse and is working my way through it while hiding from my Thesis.