eighth_horizon | sn:/all or nothing

Entry tags:

salvation au

sn:/all or nothing

Salvation AU. Danielle and Sarah talk about what it’s like to try house-hunting - or anything - with Dean. Character study. Whose? You decide.

PG, 2254 words.

All or Nothing
(c)2006 b stearns

____________

September, 2017

-|-

“He’s driving me crazy,” Danielle said.

Sarah didn’t get many calls from Danielle.

It wasn’t that they had nothing in common, or didn’t mesh personality-wise; the fundamentals were there as far as sense of humor and dedication to family. And loving a Winchester - any Winchester - could be very easy or very difficult depending on when you caught them.

Their approach to most things differed, however. Sarah was perfectly capable of directness when she felt it was necessary, but between her upbringing and her experience with the people in her family’s social circle, she had vast amounts of arch tact at her disposal. She had a way of quietly causing people to do what they should, and/or insulting anyone she chose without letting them even realize it. The line between passive aggression and perceived upper class sensibility was a fine one, and when Sarah chose to cross it there was usually nothing passive about her brand of aggression.

Danielle Surma, though, was just really...tense.

The dark-haired, honey-eyed, mocha-skinned scientist was sharp of mind, tongue and approach and may not have even had a passive setting on her dial. She was soft spoken and conservative but still loud in the same inaudible way Dean often was - she was a presence no one could ignore. But where Dean had developed a stillness over time that came from the centering that family could bring, Danielle was almost constantly poised to brace her foot in a door. Somewhere along the line she had decided that she had to get the world before it got her, and strive nonstop for something that she didn’t seem to be able to identify. She was a driven, ambitious, fast moving and bold person who didn’t mince words.

Sarah understood why all of that attracted Dean. Danielle was not for fun. She was a constant challenge, a raving beauty who was large on both the raving and the beauty. Those two didn’t rest. They riled each other and demanded all or nothing, every degree of passionate response, rage and adoration and hilarity. Dean’s understanding of living a full life had always meant that he should constantly be moving. Together, they were the definition of inertia.

The difference was that Dean knew what he wanted, from everyone and everything, and getting there did not feel like settling, to him. And, whether he made it plain or not, he trusted. Himself, the people he loved. He trusted.

It was important to Sarah that she be part of integrating Danielle into the family. She wanted it to work, wanted them all to be happy. Look, see, I’m perfectly sane and I’ve done fine with these guys, I’ve seen ghosts too, no big deal.

Sam was often completely confused by Danielle but not to the point of disliking her. It was more a matter of amusement than anything else. The first time he’d met her - dinner with the four of them not long after Dean had cleared a ghost from Danielle’s lab - he had later told Sarah that Danielle was a damn lunatic. But he’d conceded that she did not confuse motion with progress and that she was also plainly besotted with Dean. The constant underlying hint of helpless adoration softened her edges and endeared her to Sam by default.

No, Sarah didn’t get many calls from Danielle, but when she did it was because Danielle believed that Sarah had some basic understanding of Dean that had escaped everyone else.

Also, she was slightly intimidated by Sam, and had gone as far as to admit it to Dean.

Whatever that really meant, or to what degree she felt it, was not discussed. Dean thought it was hilarious and Sarah thought maybe it was kind of charming and Sam tried to be horrified, but deep down...he preferred it. He did not attempt to analyze that to any extent. He just tried not to stare at her too hard.

“We’ve looked at forty seven houses,” Danielle said. “I’m not exaggerating.”

“How many realtors have you worn out?” Sarah said, watching three-year-old Allie push grapes around the bowl in her lap on the floor. The toddler was holding a book open with her other hand, The Poky Puppy. The soon to be married couple had been looking for houses and planning a family and talking about forever, because Dean had come to understand that such things were possible after watching his brother get away with it. They had been doing very normal things in a very not-normal way.

“Two,” Danielle said. “He will not tell anybody why he really doesn’t like a place. Not me, not anybody. It’s always something about the floor joists or the size of a particular room or the direction the front windows face. Even things we could change? He won’t even consider them.”

“Dean knows a lot about houses,” Sarah said, knowing it was arguably the one of the most loaded things she’d ever said to her soon to be sister in law. Had Danielle been paying real attention, she’d have picked up on many things. To Dean’s mind it was apparently lucky that she hadn’t. She was not privy to the entire past, she had no idea about Sam’s powers, and she did not know the full story of how Sam and Sarah had met. Just a ghost, pretty much the same thing with you and Dean. Danielle had not asked. Danielle would really not have wanted to hear a little girl was jumping out of a painting and slashing people, and almost killed us both before Dean set the rest of her remains on fire. Dean had drawn a line in the sand and was taking a running jump at normalcy, and for better or worse he was not pulling Danielle into everything he’d seen or done. She knew he and Sam had spent time ‘investigating’ things. He simply had never expanded on what that meant.

“But not enough to figure out what he wants,” Danielle said. “I’m getting the idea that he either really doesn’t want a house...or he doesn’t want the permanence and can’t admit it.”

Oh, boy.

“He wants the permanence,” Sarah said quickly. “Trust me on that one. If that’s what it was, he’d say so. You know that. He hasn’t lived in a house since he was little, Danielle. And I think he just wants things to be perfect.”

Dean wanted what Sam and Sarah had. He wanted to build that for himself.

No sense telling her that each house was telling Dean a story. Dean would not talk about it, would not admit to a thing, but Sarah had watched with great interest when Dean checked each house she and Sam had looked at years earlier. Dean and Sam had been very careful. He’d never said a word but Sarah had watched Dean run his fingers along walls and arches and jambs, watched him walk the perimeters, watched him walk the yards by section. One house in Redding that Sarah had been particularly fond of had been off limits. She’d never made it through the door because Dean had said no. No explanation, just no, not this one, after he’d run a hand down the door and touched the knob. He’d closed down and glared at the house like it might try and lure them in. Sam had never questioned him, just accepted his opinion with a placid agreement and a wink to Sarah. She didn’t grill Sam either, because she knew something was going on and Dean was visibly wrestling with some sort of embarrassed determination by bestowing a pass/fail grade on each house.

When Dean seemed to know more about each house they saw than the seller did, it made her wonder.

She did go look for info on that address, though, because it was the only one Dean had been openly disturbed about. It didn’t take her long to discover that seven years earlier there had been a domestic dispute ending in murder/suicide. It made Sarah think long and hard about what she really knew about Dean and what she needed to know about him. She felt in her heart that he had no idea what had gone on in the houses he said no to. He was not psychic, he did not share Sam’s gifts/curses/abilities. It may not even have been anything as solid as the echoes of the emotional dynamics both between and soaked into the walls. She had often felt that certain rooms or whole buildings had a certain tone. It was not out of the realm of possibility that houses retained not just tones but personalities of their own. She’d seen and heard stranger things.

He had gone so far as to lie facedown on the floor of the master bedroom in the house they were currently in, looking for something. When Sam had finally asked him if it was okay, Dean had said, Yeah, whatever, if you guys like it.

“He can be a perfectionist about some things,” Danielle said. “Is this one of those things that has to do with having to move constantly when he was a kid?”

“Yes,” Sarah said. “I really think so. This is one thing you need to be patient about, because when you both finally agree on one, it’ll be the best thing for you both. Let him get comfortable. It’ll pay off.”

Danielle sighed, and to Sarah it sounded equal parts annoyance and relief.

“He’s worth it,” Danielle said. “I just want to smack him for the cloak and dagger crap. Like he has some mysterious point system for all this that I’ll never get a copy of.”

Sarah wanted to laugh but didn’t. Danielle probably understood Dean better than she realized. Whether she’d ever learn to wholeheartedly trust him or listen to more than what she wanted to hear was anyone’s guess.

“He’s trying so hard because you’re worth it,” Sarah said, knowing it was true. “A house can be part of a family, and he’s got to be able to...trust someone before he’ll let them in.”

Danielle was silent for a long moment.

Sarah knew by that silence that her hint had come through loud and clear. She smiled to herself. It was going to be quite a wedding, and not by size or scope. It would be small and sweet in a non-denominational church, but it would be such a large step, commonplace to most yet one of the bravest things Dean would ever do.

“He makes me want to put up with things I don’t have patience for,” Danielle said finally. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

Danielle’s parents had divorced just after she had turned fourteen; Sarah knew at least that much. She’d met Danielle’s brother Jason and liked him immediately but had not met Danielle’s parents. She was curious about how much was nature and how much was nurture. It seemed better to wait for Danielle to volunteer things, which didn’t happen often. At least...not in so many words.

“Yes,” Sarah said. Allie chose then to roll a grape across the floor to her. “That’s the best feeling in the world, sometimes.”

“I guess I just can’t wait to have everything be ours,” Danielle said. “I just want...home.”

“If you ask him, he might say the same thing,” Sarah said, wiggling her fingers at Allie before patting the top of her own stomach. Daughter number two was due in the next month and Sarah found herself trying to picture Danielle pregnant someday. She’d probably try and rush that, too.

Now, now, Sarah, she chided herself, then said, “He’s listening and wanting your input, right?”

“Yes,” Danielle said. “It just seems like there’s no way we’ll ever find something we both like.”

“Oh, you will,” Sarah said. “It’s such a big decision for both of you, but you’ll both know home when you find it. Any day now. Dean helped me and Sam pick out our house, and I’ve never been happier anywhere. Just give it a little longer. Then, if it all gets out of hand, I’ll help you smack him.”

Danielle laughed. That didn’t happen often - it was usually a smirk or a chuckle, but when she did laugh she meant it. There was nothing false about her; Sarah would say that willingly. Even when she was trying to be what she thought she was supposed to be, she still shone through. “Two women ganging up on him? He’d love it. Don’t give him a reason to drag this out.”

Sarah smiled to herself. “It’ll all be okay,” she said. “It really will. It’ll never be boring, but it’ll be okay.”

“Thanks,” Danielle said. “I just...I know I’m the outsider. You never make me feel like I am, I don’t mean that, but you just...I don’t think you were ever an outsider with these guys, not for a minute.”

Okay. That was true. How and why it was true was less complicated than one would think. “I’m just such a tomboy, that’s all,” Sarah said, and Danielle laughed again. “See, I have even you fooled.”

“Yeah, well, I have my doubts. Listen, I’m standing in the yard of the forty eighth house and Dean’s coming around the side again - I’ll go do something publically inappropriate to him and see how that affects his judgment.”

“Good for you,” Sarah said with a grin. “Always christen the yard first.”

After all, that was how she and Sam had conceived Allie.

-|-

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I liked this. :)

Thanks! :)

yeah. oh, danni. i think the hardest thing i have to reconcile with this universe is how selective dean and sam are with the information they share and who they share it with. i think part of it has to do with the fact that they've inadvertently completely surrounded themselves with women, not they're misogynists or anything. it's just that the only other women in their lives had well, died and of course they're going to be that way. but still it makes me frustrated. danni had to leave in order to come back i think because of it. also, it's funny that when she finally sees for real all the things that dean didn't want her to see, she decides to come back. sharing is good boys. learn it.

but yeah. i'm ceaselessy amazed at how much of a wonderful in-depth and compelling universe you've managed to create out of such limited information on a universe that is canonically so new and still trying to figure itself out. you've given depth at levels that we'll probably never get on screen, while still always staying in character. thanks as always.

>>i think the hardest thing i have to reconcile with this universe is how selective dean and sam are with the information they share and who they share it with.>>

Oh, I KNOW. They're so paranoid and on the fence about how much their family should really know.

Thanks for hanging in there and reading. :)

Sam’s gifts/curses/abilities.

Ooh, twice in one day. Another reference to the visions = less than an ideal gift ... in-ter-estin ...

Love the little oops, lets throw this in there last line reference to Allies conception ... you are a sneaky miss Miss Barb :)

Love also the revisit of Dean's House Sense. I love that Dean has skills and/or gifts/curses/abilities he doesnt neccesarily *know* he has. But he uses it. And doesn't question it either. Very Dean.

Thanks, doll! ::smishes::

Man, I love this universe so much. I don't think I left a comment for "Disinterment"--bad Bailey!--but it knocked my socks off. Such an amazingly well-executed mix of plot and character development. And these little sidebars are such wonderful little treats, giving us even more insight into our guys through the OCs or Sarah (whom you've developed so thoroughly beyond what we saw on screen that she's almost an OC at this point).

Dean and house-hunting. I never stopped to think about how that process would go, but...yeah. Dean should just tell Danielle and the realtors that he's into feng shui. Of course, he would get the idea from Sam, who would be quietly laughing his ass off.

The word is probably out among the realtors about the Winchesters: "Yeah, they're hot, but they can't make up their minds. And they lay down on the floors and have sex in the yards. Again, hot, but inappropriate. At least until they've made an offer."

>>Dean should just tell Danielle and the realtors that he's into feng shui. Of course, he would get the idea from Sam, who would be quietly laughing his ass off.>>

LOL Definitely.

>>"Yeah, they're hot, but they can't make up their minds. And they lay down on the floors and have sex in the yards. Again, hot, but inappropriate. At least until they've made an offer.">>

ROFL I love that so.

I love Sarah, she's just so perfectly *Sams wife*.

I know. And she just pwns those boys.

I like how you keep folding traits you created in earlier fics into this verse. I loved when you originally had Dean have that ability to know when a house needed to be burned. Then you brought that knowing over into his job in this verse and then now you have this. I love that Sarah gets him. It makes me laugh that Dani actually is intimidated by Sam. The way you brought things round showing the kinda end with Dean and Dani, getting back together, before ever really showing their beginning is such a cool thing to have done and fascinating to explore the character in reverse. I liked how in the coda's you have the kids talking like they're the adults and I love Allie's understanding and kinda busting Dean for all the ways they are setting the kids up to feel like freaks when that's what they've been trying to avoid. It's that whole parent trying to make sure their kids don't get screwed up the way they were and finding a way to do it all their own. Of course, Dean didn't get to be awake for it. He could have stood to hear it, just not right after having almost having his skin pulled off him and worn like a fur coat. I think about that fic and I am STILL getting the shivers off of it. Horror story at it's best. All in all, I'm just kinda happy at the moment cause I read three things in a row that I hadn't gotten to read of yours and I love the way you write. *hugs* Also, I love your Sarah, she is so much cooler than anything, anybody could be. *sighs* They all are. I want to snuggle into their world and just join them forever.

I really liked everything you said and I feel the same way about all of them and the writer, too. For me, it just makes me love Dean more and I so enjoy knowing at least in this series, that Dean has a sort of happy ending. Excpet I never want it to end. As far as the peeling skin and Dean bleeding all over the place in that last story, I was freaking out too, but it made me go and read every one of her stories, so that I could find out more about Charlie and Allie and Danielle, etc. I especially liked the story where he got Christo the dog and the drabbles about Dean and Charlie. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you I liked your comment.

Thank you so much. And yeah, when you mentioned it making you love Dean more,from the first time I found one of her stories, which was "And Fools Shine On" back when she was still posting things to the communities, I just fell in love. Not only with Dean, and Sam, but with her style of writing and the way she takes ideas and puts them together in such complex and surprising ways. She makes me feel very stupid and it's a good thing because she challenges me to think outside the things I know and into things that are often over in areas that I have never had a gift for, yet I'm reading about it, understanding it,and my brain is awake and alive. On top of that, whenever she writes the boys and really everyone in both this au series as well as other stories she's told, they are always so smart. I hate when they get written dumbed down, Dean especially, because you don't do that life and survive if you aren't smart and don't know a whole lot of things by memory. The guy builds his own equipment for goodness sakes. So I love reading smart winchesters. See you got me gushing about how much I love how she writes em. I have a few favs with the salvation verse. I really like how they got Christo and I love when they figured out Charlie knew how to find Dean. But really, I just want to start listing more and it'll end up being all of them.

Thank you SO MUCH. I can't seem to stop writing this verse and the fact that anybody enjoys it just floors me since it spends so much time focused on OCs. It's hilarious that Dani is intimidated by Sam and it's even funnier that Sam doesn't even realize he's kind of fostering that. I love these guys so.

You're so good to me.

I liked Sarah and I love the way you have fleshed her out in this universe :-)

And thanks for your insights we are getting into Danielle.

Thanks. :)

Smiling because you wrote another one. Loved listening to Sarah and Danielle talk about my favorite character, DEAN. Love the whole house concept and the phone conversation and the DEAN stuff. Only thing sad for me is knowing that they ended up splitting up and how much that must have hurt DEAN.
Regardless, I am just completely in love with your series and these characters and never want to stop getting a glimpse into their lives.

I would write people talking about Dean all day if I thought I could get away with it and not look completely insane. LOL Thanks so much for reading the series.

I really enjoyed how you work the house thing into this timeline. Very cool.

And you know, the more you write about Danielle, the more I like her, despite having divorced Dean. Heh.

And the last line is killer and made me snicker madly! Heh!

You know, this universe has become my comfort read. When things get too tough, I start reading the stories again. Thank you for that (especially since it's been a rough couple of months).

Damn, I LOVE writing comfort reads. I'm so glad you enjoy it. ::smishes::

YAY!! Dani!! I love this!! And yes, pre-married Dani, all intense and unceertain and completely, completely besotted -- facing down the world to get what she wants, and Dean ready to slay a whole different order of dragons for her.

It only takes me a million years to get caught UP! I need to write more Dani-stuff. At least in the way that she reflects Dean back to himself. Wow, that was coherent...

::mumbles, shuffles::

Lovely.

Thank you. :)

Innnnnteresting. I like this little view into Danielle. She isn't the most-liked character in a lot of this because, after all...she left Dean!
Good stuff.

Yeah, how screwed up does a chick have to be to LEAVE DEAN? Please. Even at his worst, no sense kicking him out of bed for eating crackers!

Heeeeeeee.
Yis.
*cough*

Of course, *Sam* left him to, in a way. Evol boys, getting *married* to icky girls!

...

Okay, okay.
:)

First of all, "Woven"! Which reminds me... I just finished reading it recently and I still have to review it.
Now, how much I love this verse? I can't really explain. I just love it, and I so love Sarah! I love Dean's relation to houses although he had one for only his first four years of life.
In the end, what I mean is, I love this!

Squee! Thank you so much. This verse has eaten my brain.

Yay! The mysterious connection between Dean and houses. I love the image of him lying on the floor in the master bedroom. And you have me warming up to Danielle more and more, you jerk! <3

Also, she was slightly intimidated by Sam, and had gone as far as to admit it to Dean... and Sam tried to be horrified, but deep down...he preferred it.
*bows to you*

Everyone knows that puppies are so intimidating. Dani is the only smart one in the place! Except for the part about leaving Dean. She should have at least kept sleeping with him. Or become a nun.

Oh wow, I love how we're getting bits and pieces of the story, past, present and future like this. Even when we're jumping back in time, you tie it in all seamlessly and it's wonderful.

“Good for you,” Sarah said with a grin. “Always christen the yard first.”

After all, that was how she and Sam had conceived Allie.

Hee!

Haha, thanks!

....just so long as they never tell Allie.

“Yeah, well, I have my doubts. Listen, I’m standing in the yard of the forty eighth house and Dean’s coming around the side again - I’ll go do something publically inappropriate to him and see how that affects his judgment.”

“Good for you,” Sarah said with a grin. “Always christen the yard first.”

After all, that was how she and Sam had conceived Allie.

i think this family might get their happy ending after all *happy sigh*

*curls up at your feet and gives you cookies*

::pets you::

Ah, cookies! ::is in heaven::

I liked this. It was an interesting conversation to “overhear.” I especially enjoyed how you explored what makes Danielle, Danielle.

Favorite lines:

Danielle Surma, though, was just really...tense.

*g* I love how you phrased that.

She did go look for info on that address, though, because it was the only one Dean had been openly disturbed about. It didn’t take her long to discover that seven years earlier there had been a domestic dispute ending in murder/suicide.

Wow. Yeah, I can understand how this would be a bad place for Sam and Sarah. Btw, I really liked this section about how Dean could apparently tell the good houses from the bad ones. And I love that he helped Sam and Sarah find their house. That’s too sweet. :)

He had gone so far as to lie facedown on the floor of the master bedroom in the house they were currently in, looking for something.

*g* I love this image.

“He makes me want to put up with things I don’t have patience for,” Danielle said finally. “That’s good, isn’t it?”

Yeah, that’s definitely a good thing. :)

”I’ll go do something publically inappropriate to him and see how that affects his judgment.”

“Good for you,” Sarah said with a grin. “Always christen the yard first.”

After all, that was how she and Sam had conceived Allie.

*g* Love this ending, from Danielle having such a flirtatious thought to finding out how Allie was conceived. Nicely done.

Thanks! Ah, I'm so glad you like this 'verse. I don't want it to get old quite yet.

I've not read much of the background, just bits and pieces here and there out of order, but I just wanted to say, I'm quickly falling in love with this universe. Next big chunk of free time I have, I think I need to go back and read the whole bunch of it to see what actually is happening!

Oh, thanks. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and let me know you like it. :)

Wow. The only thing better than one of your Salvation fics at a time is TWO at a time. You rule. And we win.
Thanks so much,
DC

\m/ Thanks, doll!

Aww.

Love this 'verse and the OCs. And the boys of course.

And your writing, but that's a gimme.

I read this story first in the Salvation-verse and it's still my favorite.

It encapsulates so many things that I like. Both an outsider POV and a slice of life normal event that is just one beat off.

Your description of Dean's exploration, his reaction to the one house with the inexplicable but inplacable "no", the searching, the looking around with a different set of standards because in his world it's not just a four bedroom, two bath. You really describe it so well that I can see it like it's an actual episode.

I think the use of Sarah really works both here and elsewhere in this universe. You write her with a real sense of how genuinely fond of Dean she is and how she's grown to understand him and Sam and why they are the way they are. Everything is normal and yet slightly skewed in their world.

Not to mention the story promises a happy ending for Sam and Dean, where everything's okay. They have families and homes. And considering all the trauma and angst they go through on the show, it's really nice to have that as a warm fuzzy blanket to sink into.

Thanks!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

sn:/all or nothing

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

your comments

Re: your comments

no subject

no subject

no subject

all or nothing

Re: all or nothing

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject