eighth_horizon: (oh yeah?)
[personal profile] eighth_horizon
Title: Brains Are A Nuisance
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Brains.
Characters & Pairings: Harry, Perry; Perry/Harry, Harry/Harmony
Word Count: 10,400
Author's Notes: Supernatural/KKBB crossover, for MJ. Title paraphrased from Raymond Chandler’s Pearls Are a Nuisance. Sequel to The Simple Art of Graverobbing.

Sam and Dean are on a case, and they need a specific kind of expertise. Harry rambles. Perry hits on the Winchesters. h/c occurs. Everybody says ‘fuck’ a lot. A lot. PG-13 for language and brains. Song lyrics quoted badly from Coven’s McDonaldland Massacre.

I stared at him. “So the fact that I’m trying to kill someone who’s already dead doesn’t already make this wrong?”

Date: 2009-12-14 08:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iyalode.livejournal.com
\o/ I almost died laughing when Perry started in on Cas, and poor Harry, freaking out because he could see Castiel as the scary something 'other' he is.

Awesome read. Thank you!

Date: 2009-12-14 09:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackcat333-99.livejournal.com
I have NO IDEA what you're saying I'm responsible for. I would NEVER encourage... heh. I can't even type it with a straight face, lol.

Where oh where to begin? This is the bit where I first laughed out loud, unable to keep it on the inside:

The bin slipped out of my hands.

C’mon - don’t pretend you didn’t know it would. This is me we’re talking about.

Big crash, and fuck me if the bin didn’t pop open and the brain didn’t bounce onto the floor. Like, it made this dead fish sound against the tiles and kind of rebounded like a dead fish would. And it slid under a fucking table.


Oh yeah. I could just SEE Hapless Harry's bad luck kicking in here, and... LMAO!

Also, that bit at the end, you know the bit that I'm TOTALLY NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR... nice twist you incorporated there. We got the laughs of Perry's reaction to meeting Castiel, but then having Harry's reaction to Castiel, and how he realized that this was something he did not want to mess with or have anything to do with, and didn't even want Castiel looking at/noticing him.... nicely done. Eerie without messing with the crack. And yeah, seemed right that Harry would see a bit beyond the surface, because he might have all the bad luck in the world but part of that bad luck is because he sees things and can't just not be honest about what he's seeing. Now I'll just shut up because this is fun crack and I'm overanalyzing. In short: LOVED IT! I've missed your fic, and am really glad we got this from you.

Date: 2009-12-14 11:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] missyjack.livejournal.com
I LOVE THIS BETTER THAN PIE. Everyone is perfect in this but esp love your Harry. And there was SNUGGLING. And Cas and oh all of it is too wonderful and it should be a movie RIGHT NOW. I want to go out with the fic and buy it a drink.

Date: 2009-12-14 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crckr-jck.livejournal.com
Awww. You are so affectionate with all of them - I love that. Dean trying not to laugh, Sam and the job offer, Harry sliding down behind the kitchen counter top and Perry's bed. California king, indeed. So glad to find something you've written on a day when everything else I'm going to read starts out: "A Statistical Analysis of _______". Thank you!

Date: 2009-12-14 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jackycomelately.livejournal.com
This is incredibly awesome! Love Harry! Love Perry hitting on the boys and Cas! Wonderful payoff with the emails.

Date: 2009-12-14 06:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elderwitty.livejournal.com
Lovely as ever. You have Harry's stream of consciousness down pat. Not saying you don't have the others down ('cause you do), but your Harry is a thing of beauty.

So much goodness it's hard to single one point out, but I'm gonna go with Dean busting up laughing at the Perry/Cas antics, and Harry knowing that that was a rare and precious thing.

And the brain drop.

Please, continue. :>


ETA: 'cause I don't know what I'm on about.
Edited Date: 2009-12-14 06:46 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-12-15 01:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] darling-lisa.livejournal.com
OMG there are not enough words in the WORLD for how much I loved this. You have Harry down pat and Perry hitting on the boys made me squeal and make dolphin noises.

Date: 2009-12-15 01:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] naanima.livejournal.com
HAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, Harry, of course he would have the luck of being able to see things as they are.

And PERRY! EEEE! PERRY! I LOVES YOU! *HUGGLES*

Gods, I hope Dean takes up on the offer sometime in the future, you know, the future where the Apocalypse has been averted, and Dean is like, Why the Fuck Not?!

LOVES!

Thank you for writing.

Date: 2009-12-15 04:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emrys777.livejournal.com
You blow my mind--

--and because of that simple fact, my mind is in a million different pieces and it's unable to get a grip and completely express how much I love your kkbb/spn fic.

Suffice it to say...

...I love your kkbb/spn fic.

Going off now to pick up the pieces.

Em

Date: 2009-12-15 05:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myheartsskip.livejournal.com
I loved this soo much. spn and kkbb together. So awesome. I have nothing intelligent to say, just love.

Date: 2009-12-16 06:26 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I am so in love with you. I laughed almost the entire way through.
The last bit about the second cure being held by someone who loves you, too adorable.
Characters were spot on.
Don't ever NOT write. You're wonderful.

Date: 2010-01-04 02:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cyphersushi.livejournal.com
Awesome! I saw the movie last night and then [livejournal.com profile] raggedy_edge pointed me towards these fics and I read and flailed and squeeed (mentally as i'm at work) and also adored. Really great job! Would love to read more. The e-mails at the end were brilliant :)

Date: 2010-01-26 06:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dreamsparkle3.livejournal.com
Do u perhaps respond to bribery. I would like to draw a kiss of Harry and Perry. If you write out the perfect kiss between them, I'll draw it for your story. I'd make it like this but better http://dreamsparkle.deviantart.com/art/Castiel-125985363
So pretty please.
I'm sorry if I offended you, your stories awesome. Expecially where Harry has to sleep with someone he loves and Perry leaves that part out lol.

Date: 2010-01-27 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eighth-horizon.livejournal.com
I love bribery. XD

***

Harry snorted. “He was never the first guy to kiss me, anyway.”

Perry spun and grabbed him.

He took Harry’s face in both hands, cradled him close, and pulled him in. Harry fell into it without struggle, just acceded to Perry’s wishes; he trusted so hard that Perry felt it like a blow. Harry was trusting, but not this trusting, not with five priors and two stints in jail, not with an ex wife and a life in New York. This was trust in its purest form, lodged in his gut, with no fear or hesitation.

When lips met, Harry never shied away, just pressed in closer, hands tangling in Perry’s shirt, mouth opening when Perry drew his tongue against his lower lip. Asking, not telling, soft and respectful.

Harry actually let him in.

For a real kiss, it was heartfelt and messy, nothing like the movies and everything like real life, a press of lips and teeth and tongues, meaning more than most things. Harry tasted of fear and need, coffee and cigarettes, personal and desperate and loved.

Perry had never wanted anything so badly in his life.

It couldn’t happen, but he could have this, just this once. Someone else had kissed Harry, with all the wrong intent and for all the wrong reasons, and he had to clear it away with this, with something real.

Harry moaned into it, pressing in, hands clenched into Perry’s clothes, pulling himself in deeper.

Perry felt himself respond and knew that was the end, that unless he quit, it was no longer something soothing and claiming and cleansing but would become everything and god please yes.

He pulled away and was met with resistance.

“You’re okay,” Perry whispered against Harry‘s mouth. “You’re okay.”

A return whisper, a further press of lips. “Perry --”

Jesus, so needy, so there.

“Now I’m the first and last guy to kiss you,” Perry said. He leaned in for another quick, full meeting of mouths, then set Harry away from him, trying to ignore the sleepy-stunned-aroused look on Harry’s face. “You got that?”

Harry nodded quickly, swallowing hard enough that Perry could hear it.

Perry walked away from him, because if he didn’t put some distance between them then and there, they would be something else.

***

Now I think I need to write a whole story around that. <3

Date: 2010-01-27 09:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dreamsparkle3.livejournal.com
Oh Harry,sigh, thank you. I'm gonna draw that right away and try to do it justice.

Date: 2010-01-27 10:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dreamsparkle3.livejournal.com
oh and is there anywhere you want this kiss set?

Date: 2010-01-27 03:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eighth-horizon.livejournal.com
Nope! You choose. :)

Date: 2010-02-02 11:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceares.livejournal.com
♥ ♥ ♥

Date: 2010-02-02 11:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceares.livejournal.com
Funny, scary, sweet, and in character, and once again you make a cracked out xover premise work like buttah. I'm just pretty much all over aw! and awe! with this.

Date: 2010-02-16 01:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] parkersolderbro.livejournal.com
O!M!G! Barb! That was like the best story EVER How am I only now stumbling on to this? You have to write nothing but spn meets kkbb stories from now on. Everyone was perfect! Everything was perfect! You rock my face off with your awesomely awesome awesomeness that is your storytelling gift. Geez, this was good. You are just so freakin' talented. I can't even handle it.

Date: 2010-02-23 11:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ennui-blue-lite.livejournal.com
Have I really never commented on how much I adore this story? I must have read it four times over by now. Anyway, as much as I loved "The Simple Art of Grave Robbing," this is even better. The plot is excellent - it carries a real sense of weight. You make it very important that Harry succeeds in nabbing the brain, and then you make it seem as though he just might not be able to do it.

And the voices are phenomenal. Not only do you have Harry, Perry, Sam, Dean, and Castiel down pat, but you make their dialogue absolutely pop off the page. This isn't, "Harry's telling a story," this is, "Harry is telling a story about one of the weirdest things that has ever happened to him, and he's going to give his all in the telling of it."

I want follow up. I want MORE of this. I'm betting that between Tony Stark organizing an army of hunters (no, I didn't forget about that), Dean and Sam leading that army, and Harry and Perry dropping in to help out, you could rock the apocalypse in ways that Krypke couldn't even dream.

Date: 2010-02-28 08:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ldhenson.livejournal.com
I cannot even begin to tell you how awesome this fic is. Cannot even begin.

There's so much right packed into this story it's practically overflowing. You've nailed everyone's voices, no mean feat given that you maintain Harry's distinctive narrative style throughout, so really, it's nothing but voices. Your descriptions--especially of the brain bank, and of the Winchesters--are thorough yet concise, and slip perfectly naturally into the narrative. Had I not already known who Sam and Dean were, I would've gotten a pretty good idea of them from this fic alone, and all without unnecessary exposition. In fact I came across this fic before the first one, and I still got the gist of what came before. I love the plot; I love the pacing; I love what's said and unsaid. And those ending e-mails are the best possible capper to the tale.

It's a real pleasure to read a well-constructed, utterly entertaining fic like this. Thank you for sharing it. And when I next get a chunk of free time, you can bet I'll be going back to check out part one.
From: [identity profile] pingback-bot.livejournal.com
User [livejournal.com profile] oxfordtweed referenced to your post from Simple Art of Graverobbing, and Brains are a Nuisance, by Gekizetsu (PG-13 and R, respectively) (http://crack-van.livejournal.com/5337830.html) saying: [...] and Brains are a Nuisance [...]

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