[personal profile] eighth_horizon
Because this is what happens when I'm stressed:

50 things Perry Van Shrike never wants to hear from Harry Lockhart, ever:

1) “Oh, shit. The cops are here.”
2) “I think…"
3) “Rush Limbaugh said - “
4) “Knock knock.”
5) ::sings Journey loudly::
6) “Whatever you did to that guy last night, he liked it.”
7) “What’s cock taste like, anyway?”
8) “Don’t get mad, but…”
9) “Whoops. I’m bleeding.”
10) “Do these pants make my ass look fat?”
11) “I know you are, but what am I?”
12) “Harmony threw me out.”
13) “It wasn’t my fault!”
14) “Perry? If I don’t make it…it’s okay.”
15) “It wasn’t me. Things break on their own sometimes, you know.”
16) “Sissy bitch.”
17) “Jesus Christ, take a joke, already!”
18) ::shrieking in terror::
19) “Your mom’s on the phone. We had the best talk!
20) “In Sunday school, I was taught…”
21) “I’m going back to New York.”
22) “Didn‘t you wear that last Wednesday?”
23) “So, um, you’re my one phone call…”
24) “I woke up under this dead hooker, and that’s all I remember.”
25) ::sobs::
26) “The guy said it was just a reefer, and…ooh, wow, look at the pretty lights!”
27) “You have the prettiest eyes.”
28) “The pound said they were gonna have to put him to sleep…can I keep him?”
29) “I know we’re in your car and all, but I don’t feel so…”
30) ::pukes::
31) “Perry? They said they’re gonna take another finger off if you don’t get here.”
32) “I don’t know where all that gum came from.”
33) “There were five bullets when I loaded it!”
34) “The insurance guy called, said he’s on his way over.”
35) “I told that guy over there you could kick his ass!”
36) “I have jury duty.”
37) “Harmony’s pregnant!
38) “Wait…the thing says I’m pregnant.”
39) “Fuck, is there lube in every drawer in this place?”
40) “Yeah, he called, and I told him you are way out of his league.”
41) “This envelope we got in today’s mail has a bunch of white powder in it…”
42) “At least I locked it again after I was done breaking into it.”
43) “Have you ever noticed your right eye is a little bigger than the left?”
44) “You try typing with nine fingers!”
45) “Harmony has a psychologist friend who says it’s probably transference.”
46) “Does this look infected to you?”
47) “Wanna sign my cast?”
48) “Sorry, sorry, sorry sorry sorry I said I was sorry!
49) “You should talk about your feelings more, and hit less.”
50) “It was just a little fire.”

And one thing he does want to hear:

51) “There’s a Bridezillas marathon on! I made popcorn.”

Date: 2009-08-04 01:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] missyjack.livejournal.com
please to be writing the KKBB sequel!

Date: 2009-08-04 08:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] veronamay.livejournal.com

Date: 2009-08-04 11:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 20thcenturyvole.livejournal.com
*draws sparkly sparkly hearts*

Date: 2009-08-04 11:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nargynargy.livejournal.com
haha, this is both hilarious and adorable all at the same time <3

Date: 2009-08-04 03:12 pm (UTC)
ext_17079: ([dean] nine dollar chicken leg)
From: [identity profile] greenapricot.livejournal.com
*big giant grin*

Date: 2009-08-04 06:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blackcat333-99.livejournal.com
I wanted to pick out one favorite line, but then I realized I was pretty close to picking out most all of the lines. However, this:

2) “I think…"

Is just a perfect summation of Harry and Perry. :)

Date: 2009-08-05 04:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dudenin.livejournal.com
#7 just about made me piss my pants! I also maybe got a little emotional at #21.

Date: 2009-08-27 02:57 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Just to let you know, I went to your website gekizetsu.net (or whatever, don't remember the URL), and when I tried to click on the link to the Salvation Future'verse, it took me to a generic outside page that linked to different definitions of "wordsmith". It was really random, and not fic at all. Has the Future'verse been swallowed by cyberspace? :(

Date: 2009-09-07 06:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ceares.livejournal.com
Adorable. *needs to watch kkbb again*.

Date: 2009-10-02 06:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halfshellvenus.livejournal.com
24) “I woke up under this dead hooker, and that’s all I remember.

THAT one. Because not only would that happen to Harry, it would happen in order to make Perry's life hell.

Date: 2010-03-16 12:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] holmes221b.livejournal.com
Oh my gods, this list has made me want to challenge my writing ability by writing up a story for each thing listed...
Can I do that?

Date: 2010-03-16 02:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eighth-horizon.livejournal.com
DOOOOOOOOOO IT!! <3<3 There is never enough KKBB fic in the world.

Date: 2010-03-17 12:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] holmes221b.livejournal.com
I absolutely agree.
I'll start right on this list as soon as I finish the table I'm working on right now.

edit: who am I kidding, I'm going to start on this list idea as soon as I can (which is tomorrow morning, since I'm about to head off to bed...)
Edited Date: 2010-03-17 12:36 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-12-04 08:51 am (UTC)
errantcomment: (Default)
From: [personal profile] errantcomment
Me and a friend just spent quite a while reading them to each other and giggling. A lot. A win!
Thanks. XD


Date: 2011-12-04 11:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dolimir-k.livejournal.com
This was just rec'd on crack_van.

My favorite line is #19. Heh.

Date: 2011-12-04 09:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mmmarmalade.livejournal.com

Date: 2011-12-20 02:59 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-07-27 11:59 pm (UTC)
hardboiledbaby: (baby legs)
From: [personal profile] hardboiledbaby
This list is made of win. ♥



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